Not only a Grandmother's Love but also a Mother's Love

My daughter, Kristin, the creator of this website, “Arbor’s Angels”, asked me to write about Arbor Marie’s death from a Grandmother’s point of view – but – as you see – I am also Kristin’s Mom as she is my precious daughter. Therefore I also must come at this from the point of view of a mother.

The unbelievable joy I felt when Kristin and our wonderful son-in-law, Adrien, told us they were pregnant and due in May of 2016, knew no bounds.  My husband and I, along with other family members and friends, watched as Kristin glowed more each month as her pregnancy progressed.

Then our world turned upside down the morning of February 19, 2016.  We got the call that Arbor’s heart had stopped and our hearts also stopped!  Arbor was born still but “STILL BORN” on February 19, 2016 at 3:10 PM at 28 weeks. Her 2 sets of grandparents were present before and after the birth and so very honored to be there. They are Nana and Papa Langlois and Grandma and Grandpa Wittenborn.

The 1st saddest event in my life – was walking into that hospital room after Kristin had given birth and seeing my daughter in the hospital bed with her hospital gown on and IV’s in her hand, her face ravaged by grief, holding her dear silent  baby out to me. Next to her, with a protective arm around his wife was our son-in-law, Adrien, with grief and shock coursing through him.

How blessed we were to be able to hold Arbor, kiss her and bid her farewell. To my surprise, Kristin and Adrien asked us to take pictures to remember this precious but brief time with their daughter.

Sweet Arbor was baptized that evening with her parents, her 2 sets of grandparents and her Aunt Deborah in attendance. She was given to our Lord, Jesus Christ.

During the next week, Arbor was cremated and on Saturday, February 27, 2016 our sweet Arbor, after a very moving ceremony at St. Peter’s Catholic Church in Charlotte, was interred in a niche in the Church’s columbarium.

The 2nd saddest moment of my life was walking down the aisle in St. Peter’s Church where Kristin and Adrien had walked down the aisle at their wedding months earlier on July 18, 2016. I as well as Arbor’s Nana were holding the beautiful urn (pink & lavender paisley) with the remains of our granddaughter.

The 3rd saddest, and I hope the last, moment of my life, was when I saw my daughter kneel and place the sweet urn in the niche of the columbarium.  I think I actually howled with grief, for both my daughter and granddaughter – whom I will never know.

Here we are, 6 months after Arbor passed and as I am writing this, I am sobbing.  I am crying for my granddaughter whom I will never know as well as for my daughter and son-in-law who will never experience all of the possibilities they envisioned for their daughter.

Yet- each day we all become stronger- we all have our “cry days” and our “no cry days”! I draw my strength from my husband as well as from my amazing daughter, Kristin.

I pray that my thoughts and experience helps others and that Kristin’s website can bring peace to others who are grieving. One thing is for sure – there is no one right way to grieve and no time table.

Written by Joanne Wittenborn, Arbor's Grandmother