The Gift of You
/As I sit here today and reflect on the past 6 months since you were born and taken into Heaven, my sweet girl, I am so thankful for all the gifts you have blessed me with over and over again. I have come to realize that just because you aren’t here and I can’t snuggle, kiss, and wrap you in my arms and not let go that I have been given the most unbelievable gifts from you.
You gave me the gift of being pregnant with you and understanding fully the miracle of life. To see you develop each week and grow made my heart overflow with joy and love. You blessed me everyday and showed me what it was like to love unconditionally and feel little pitter patters of your life inside me. Your kicks and movements thrilled me beyond words. I am so blessed to be your mother little one and this gift I will cherish as long as I live.
To see your father be such a rock and not waver through your delivery (when I was weak) and weeks and months after losing you has shown me the meaning of true love. I loved your father so much when we were married a little over a year ago but had no idea how much my love could grow for him. He was beside me every step of the way, and has been since, supporting my meltdowns and ideas of how to make a difference. He is the most unbelievable man and father. Some couples draw apart from each other in this situation. You have given us a very special gift by bringing us closer together.
You have brought our families together. Your father and I are so blessed that prior to losing you our families got along but now my love they are one big family. Your Grandmother and Nana talk all the time and have become close friends. Your Grandfather and Papa could spend hours together talking about politics and hanging out. The support they have provided to us through losing you has been so heartfelt and loving. Your Grandparents, aunts/uncles, and cousins are grieving for you but have come together to love on Adrien and myself to ensure we keep moving forward. Our families are intertwined and the love they have for one another is because of you sweet Arbor.
You have brought so many people together to show support and love for your father and myself as well as your grandparents and aunts/uncles and cousins. So many were looking forward to loving you here on earth but you gave the gift of showing those how to come together in loss and celebrate as well as grieve together. On Arbor Day this year, too many friends to count sent balloons in your name at 3:10 pm to celebrate you my love. Your father and I were so overwhelmed and humbled by the outpouring of love. I understand now what true friendship means and how to be a friend when someone is going through a tough time. It isn’t about what you say but what you do. I now understand this more than anything based on the love that has been shared with us because of you.
Time has slowed but this has given me the chance to take in all the beauty God has created. I can’t help to see you everywhere and especially in the beautiful trees. When we named you it was because we loved the name Arbor, however, it has such a special meaning to us now as we look outside and you surround us. I can’t help but smile when I see a cardinal or butterfly and know it is you saying “Hi Mom, I am doing great.” My love, you have helped me slow down and take in the beauty of the world.
More than anything you have have given me a purpose and passion. I would take it all back if I could, just to have you here with me, but our Heavenly Father had other plans for you my angel. I have always prayed for a purpose in life and God answered my prayers by blessing me with you. I want nothing more in life to make you proud that I am your Mom and to help others through this unbearable loss. You have given me strength I never knew existed and a found desire to do whatever I can to honor you and help others that have suffered such a loss.
As I am writing this, I am crying as I am so sad you aren’t here but also because of the gifts you have blessed your father and me with over these past six months. I can’t wait to see what else is to come and it is all because of you my Angel.